See, there's fucking carbon, and then there's carbon di-fucking-oxide.
And no, they're not the same fucking thing at all. Not only aren't they the same fucking thing, they ain't even in the same fucking ballpark.
One's a solid and the other's a gas, for fuck's sake! So how come I keep hearing about all this carbon tax this and carbon price that?
The symbol for carbon is C. See that shit? That's one fucking carbon atom right there, motherfucker.
You wanna know what's made of carbon? Well, apart from you, dipshit, everything from fucking coal to diamonds.
Carbon is a solid, and it's not the shit that's being taxed in the fucking carbon tax.
The formula for carbon dioxide is CO2, and the equation is O=C=O. See the fucking difference between that and fucking carbon? There are two fucking oxygen atoms in that shit, stuck to that carbon atom in the middle.
Carbon dioxide is like a fucking gas and it's the shit that's fucking up the atmosphere, and it's what is being taxed in the so-called fucking carbon tax.
Every fucker, that's who!
The media, the politicians, bloggers, and people down the fucking cafe. Everone's going on about the fucking carbon tax, when they should be calling it the carbon di-fucking-oxide tax.
Take a look at the fucking fine print and you'll see that what they are taxing is carbon di-fucking-oxide, not fucking carbon.
Maybe all the politicians failed their high school fucking chemistry exams. Who the fuck knows?
Maybe they just keep hearing carbon tax and so they think that's what it is.
Maybe they think carbon is short for carbon dioxide. Yeah right, like shit is short for shit-for-brains.
On the other hand, some of these fuck-knuckles know full well what the fuck it is, but choose to mislead.
Why would they do that? Well, let's say your'e having the global warming fucking climate change debate with someone, and you ask them, "Hey, what the fuck does the carbon tax actually tax?"
Sounds like a trick question, so they'll look at you funny. Eventually, they might say "Carbon?" And when you tell them, "No, carbon di-fucking-oxide", they'll give up on the debate coz the science is too fucking hard.
It's not the fucking carbon! It's the carbon di-fucking-oxide that's fucking up the atmosphere. Not fucking carbon. The two aren't even remotely fucking similar. And carbon is not evil, it's fucking magic! It's the second largest thing that you're made of, for fuck's sake!
Think it doesn't matter? Ask anyone you know, "What's the shit that the carbon tax taxes?" They'll tell you fucking carbon. Well, they'll probably spout some wishy-washy crap first, because they won't understand the question, but eventually they'll say "fucking carbon".
Ask them "What the fuck is carbon?", and they'll tell you it's burnt fucking toast or some shit.
But that's not the stuff that's causing the problems, and it's not what's being fucking taxed.
Now everyone thinks that carbon is the fucking culprit, when it's the carbon di-fucking-oxide.